Home Depot Has It All

I have installed 90 percent of the things Home Depot carries and know pretty much every piece of merchandise they sell. When I am bored I will bring in something they don't carry but very close to something they do. It starts off something like this. I ask a guy stocking shelves to help me find it. He calls on his phone for help. The guy that comes for help gets someone else. Pretty soon I am watching 5 guys and a manager trying to get something off a top shelf with a forklift I know they don't have.

Amercano, it's not what you think.

I went to my local coffee shop this morning and ordered an Americano, my morning drink of choice. An older lady I had never seen before was behind the counter. She was clearly in training, very slow and making everything out of what looked like a recipe book. I finally got my drink and sat in my usual spot. I am there for about 20 minutes, just enough time to check email and return customer calls if needed. I made my regular bathroom stop when I was done. That's when it hit me. I could see sound and photo's on my phone spoke to me. When I finished, washed my hands and opened the door a young girl surrounded by unicorns was waiting for me. She said sir I am so sorry, I am new and I added 6 shots of espresso to your Americano instead of 2. I hope you are okay. I floated by her and said I am fine, more than fine, I have never felt better.
P.S. If you know what coffee shop I am talking about I would avoid the restroom if I were you. I think the smell stuck to the wall. In other news if I had a colonoscopy today I am sure I would get a clean bill of health. If you see a guy moving very fast down the highway it's probably just me. I think I may have to go back to the coffee shop to get my work van at some point. I may need tools if the ones in my invisible toolbox don't work. -A.Quintin Smith